physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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