so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize