i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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