Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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