Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
