How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
