I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you made out with another girl for some wings
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house