I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.