Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam