I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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