hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize