You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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