the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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