i would punch a child for taco bell
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
