where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I've blown a few things in my day
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
