no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize