Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
