I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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