and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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