Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
