Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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