Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.