Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once? (410): Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women http://tfl.nu/hhx6
  Replies (11) Good night (3359) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket http://tfl.nu/uu8e
  Replies (53) Good night (938) Bad night (4374)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely. http://tfl.nu/77c9
  Replies (58) Good night (8281) Bad night (2036)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way http://tfl.nu/xurx
  Replies (12) Good night (7257) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it. http://tfl.nu/c1o6
  Replies (5) Good night (2882) Bad night (1976)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning. http://tfl.nu/i94f
  Replies (2) Good night (1695) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass http://tfl.nu/s4so
  Replies (11) Good night (1776) Bad night (5108)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/gccc
  Replies (3) Good night (1548) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug. http://tfl.nu/908k
  Replies (3) Good night (1336) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'? http://tfl.nu/6ned
  Replies (7) Good night (1539) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak
  Replies (23) Good night (1858) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  A true beacon of hope in these dark times

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together (1-612): A true beacon of hope in these dark times http://tfl.nu/8p83
  Replies (12) Good night (2148) Bad night (574)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/gswm
  Replies (5) Good night (325) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (275) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner. http://tfl.nu/3gkb
  Replies (0) Good night (147) Bad night (387)

Randomize