just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
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this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm at about main and main street
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I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.