Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them

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(612): at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them http://tfl.nu/fxji

Replies (37) Good night (825) Bad night (3796)
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(585): View more from New York

WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET

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(585): WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET http://tfl.nu/jxod

Replies (17) Good night (1011) Bad night (4813)
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(631): View more from New York

My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..

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(631): My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms.. http://tfl.nu/s1m5

Replies (15) Good night (4604) Bad night (725)
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(404): View more from Georgia

hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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(404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j

Replies (6) Good night (3835) Bad night (903)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."

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(717): She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen." http://tfl.nu/c7q3

Replies (32) Good night (9450) Bad night (947)
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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.

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(780): Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it. http://tfl.nu/82ee

Replies (8) Good night (2555) Bad night (798)
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(916): View more from California

Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash

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(916): Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash http://tfl.nu/rtwe

Replies (9) Good night (2267) Bad night (605)
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(530): View more from California

I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"

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(530): I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex" http://tfl.nu/wknw

Replies (6) Good night (2406) Bad night (636)
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(301): View more from Maryland

Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often

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(301): Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often http://tfl.nu/2a6o

Replies (8) Good night (1715) Bad night (525)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?

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(843): Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes? http://tfl.nu/3eu0

Replies (8) Good night (514) Bad night (1378)
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(914): View more from New York

Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.

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(914): Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs. http://tfl.nu/123h

Replies (12) Good night (1097) Bad night (541)
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(569): View more from

I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome

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(569): I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome http://tfl.nu/60qi

Replies (6) Good night (1325) Bad night (420)
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(443): View more from Maryland

So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..

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(443): So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses.. http://tfl.nu/gsxe

Replies (14) Good night (1758) Bad night (524)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here

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(603): Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here http://tfl.nu/t56p

Replies (1) Good night (331) Bad night (791)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.

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(770): Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance. http://tfl.nu/v36b

Replies (1) Good night (548) Bad night (362)

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