she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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