everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
