Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
