I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
