Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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