I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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