Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Banned from zoo.
Again?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
