Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize