So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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