Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
