I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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