Dual....:-)
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
