no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
