Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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