Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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