wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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