yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize