Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?

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  (913): end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/fo6s
  Replies (5) Good night (984) Bad night (813)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore

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  (229): my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore http://tfl.nu/2olf
  Replies (20) Good night (3430) Bad night (832)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.

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  (617): she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment. http://tfl.nu/vrz7
  Replies (56) Good night (879) Bad night (4429)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.

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  (908): Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic. http://tfl.nu/hh2b
  Replies (33) Good night (4214) Bad night (5294)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.

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  (401): we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either. http://tfl.nu/u7gs
  Replies (15) Good night (1290) Bad night (5783)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.

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  (206): All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came. http://tfl.nu/je3h
  Replies (8) Good night (4591) Bad night (998)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin

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  (206): i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin http://tfl.nu/oy4z
  Replies (19) Good night (1270) Bad night (4560)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.

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  (313): We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ypzc
  Replies (5) Good night (4440) Bad night (956)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.

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  (201): The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20. http://tfl.nu/e9d3
  Replies (10) Good night (4157) Bad night (996)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked

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  (774): just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked http://tfl.nu/dcyr
  Replies (7) Good night (3006) Bad night (812)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"

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  (860): We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no" http://tfl.nu/13gy
  Replies (7) Good night (2514) Bad night (1104)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.

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  (775): Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think. http://tfl.nu/vd5v
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1101)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.

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  (740): Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes. http://tfl.nu/n93c
  Replies (4) Good night (2169) Bad night (598)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player

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  (201): Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player http://tfl.nu/qjie
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.

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  (773): Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment. http://tfl.nu/iyng
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (803)

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