Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing

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  (323): my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing http://tfl.nu/8j5t
  Replies (0) Good night (681) Bad night (889)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud

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  (301): We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud http://tfl.nu/i29s
  Replies (21) Good night (2439) Bad night (538)
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  (631): View more from New York

  You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu

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  (631): You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu http://tfl.nu/9ul0
  Replies (14) Good night (2439) Bad night (4079)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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  (937): We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture http://tfl.nu/edj0
  Replies (25) Good night (718) Bad night (7648)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  the only muscles i have these days is kegels

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  (443): the only muscles i have these days is kegels http://tfl.nu/1pmr
  Replies (13) Good night (4073) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.

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  (206): She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/y8c3
  Replies (29) Good night (9035) Bad night (1866)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.

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  (512): I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend. http://tfl.nu/57u1
  Replies (10) Good night (1417) Bad night (2005)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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  (503): Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week? http://tfl.nu/t1cs
  Replies (2) Good night (1387) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?

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  (443): I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible? http://tfl.nu/lb2v
  Replies (19) Good night (804) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

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  (817): Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka http://tfl.nu/xkay
  Replies (9) Good night (606) Bad night (1272)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man

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  (404): He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man http://tfl.nu/p704
  Replies (14) Good night (1809) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?

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  (412): Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet? http://tfl.nu/5htr
  Replies (2) Good night (1449) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life

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  (513): you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life http://tfl.nu/50v2
  Replies (4) Good night (781) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut

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  (402): sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut http://tfl.nu/dm9v
  Replies (6) Good night (312) Bad night (594)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...

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  (205): I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge... http://tfl.nu/he3w
  Replies (0) Good night (413) Bad night (251)

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