They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.