Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.