Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize