I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
