It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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