Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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