i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
