im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
