I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
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She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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