Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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