Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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