Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
