sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
