AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
