i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
