i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If I die, sorry about rent.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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