First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
