It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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