it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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