Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
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I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
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My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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