Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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