Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
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Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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