I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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